Top 10 Reasons to Play the Bassoon

Number 10 A bassoon looks awesome in the gunrack of your pickup truck
Number 9 If you go to a costume party you can remove the crook and go as Captain Hook
Number 8 The big end works great with your shopvac
Number 7 If you've lost your bong, you've got it made
Number 6 Attached batteries and a stun gun and you have a cattle prod for the barnyard
Number 5 You can blow up ballons on the big end, or pehaps other latex items
Number 4 If you cross the bassoon with an onion you get music that brings tears to your eyes
Number 3 You can whack knees with it (Tonya) or fend off wolves
Number 2 If you put the bell up to your ear against the wall you can hear what people in the next room are saying about you
Number 1 For an instrument that pretty much sucks, the bassoon offers pure blowing satisfaction

What are some of your reasons for playing the bassoon? What are some reasons for NOT playing the bassoon? Let us know!